Tag Archives: relaxing

Front Porch Fumblings

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The air is pretty still in Manchester, Tennessee, with nothing really happening but the occasional thunderstorm to settle the dust. The corn continues to grow taller and more brown. Here I sit, daydreaming my days away and doing a lot of nothing.

The month of May has proven to be a pretty exciting though as I have been able to cover a high-profile murder trial for six days, and I turned 19. However, the rest of my days lasted long, and I barely stirred around the house. Without work, I wasn’t really sure what to do. That’s the problem with being a workaholic.

I have finally found the inspiration to get up and write something more than a hard news lead. For the past ten months, the majority of all my words have circulated around school and news story after news story. I love writing news, and sometimes I even liked writing papers for school. All my personal thoughts and otherwise have just sat suppressed inside me without much of a place to go.

Now sitting before me, I have three months of summer and a day job that I started today. I will work with kids all summer being an ESP worker at my former elementary school. I opened the glass doors this morning to what looked like a new school but still the same. The smell of those places never leave no matter how many times they change the carpet or the ceiling tiles.

I look forward to my summer. I want to get back to being healthy or at least running . I want to lay in the sun and let its rays encompass me. But really, I just want a tan.  I want my callouses to come back on my fingers, and get back to playing the guitar. More than anything, I want to write for me. Yeah, I will have to write for my newspaper occasionally, and I will have to work on my college ministry’s blog.

The selfish part of me wants my writing to be more for me. I’m sure I’ll collect a summer’s worth of tales to blog about. I’m not excited about the summer. I am not sad either. Rather, I am content. I am fairly flexible with what happens, and I have set few goals.

Perhaps, it is okay every once in a while to go lax with goals and visions. I think I want to let my mind wander and go where it may.

Pushin’ down on me

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I don’t remember the last time I did a handstand. When I was little, my living room was my jungle gym. I always loved watching the Olympics, and I remember trying to always imitate different moves of those gymnasts by hopping on the couches and doing different flips. My mother hated it. My grandmother encouraged it and straightened up the pillows once I was done with my “performance.”

Tonight, I felt the need that same little kid urge. I wanted to do something a little crazy. Normally, I am a very refined girl of sorts. I keep my emotions in check. I don’t go around crying or stomping my foot in anger. I keep my game face on and my big girl panties as my mother would say. I like control. So, I am constantly controlling myself and my movements. I don’t like anything out of line, myself included.

After a rocky evening of sorts, I went over to some friends’ apartment to hang out and just catch up. College is crazy, you know. It’s Thursday morning right now. My sleep schedule is skewed, and I live on naps. Thank God I grew out of my hating nap phase.

Nonetheless, college contains lots of pressures. Between school, work, and my social life, things get hectic and sometimes it feels like the whole world is just exerting all its force on top of me. Perhaps, the universe is even pointing and laughing at me while doing so. I would know that’s for sure.

This evening, the world exerted another force on me. Yes, it’s quite common. It exerts it on me daily, but I decided to test gravity tonight. Once I saw one of my friends do a somersault in the floor, I got the urge to do a handstand. So down I went. I placed my fingers into the white carpet and launched myself into place. I am an adult and this is what I do with my freedom: handstands in the dining room.

I from there started a trend and two of my other friends started doing it with me. I loved gymnastics as a kid. I loved doing back-handsprings and back tucks. It was a stress reliever in my middle school days. Yes, I was a stressed out eighth grader. Don’t judge me.

From there I continued doing handstands against the wall. I even turned my handstands around and walked myself stomach first back into the wall. I called it “wall flopping.” In the pictures that we took, it looked like I was hugging the wall in handstand form. However, gravity soon reminded that I can’t just keep hugging the wall like that. What comes up must come down. I am sure one of Murphy’s Laws addresses that concept.

In my typical awkward fashion, I crumpled to the floor in some weird way. I quickly wondered if I broke anything because I just face planted into the carpet and my limbs were just sprawling and landing in all different ways. I didn’t break anything, though. Embarrass myself? Well, that is hard to do considering I do that on a daily basis. For the normal human being that might be considered an embarrassing moment.

After I crumpled, I soon erupted into a fight of laughter and rolled on the floor. I don’t remember the last time I let myself do anything like that. To let all the pressures pushing down on me just go. I am not going to lie. It felt nice. It felt nice to not be in complete and total control. It was just to let off a little steam.

College is rough place to be. I have scholarships to keep and grades to make. I have articles to write and jobs to do. Don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love being here.

Sometimes, I think we all need that reminder to not let all the pressures suffocate us as it pushes down. Maybe I should let myself go a little more often and crazy. Well, not too crazy. Wall flopping and handstanding are as wild as I think I can go.