Tag Archives: ramblings

Front Porch Fumblings

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The air is pretty still in Manchester, Tennessee, with nothing really happening but the occasional thunderstorm to settle the dust. The corn continues to grow taller and more brown. Here I sit, daydreaming my days away and doing a lot of nothing.

The month of May has proven to be a pretty exciting though as I have been able to cover a high-profile murder trial for six days, and I turned 19. However, the rest of my days lasted long, and I barely stirred around the house. Without work, I wasn’t really sure what to do. That’s the problem with being a workaholic.

I have finally found the inspiration to get up and write something more than a hard news lead. For the past ten months, the majority of all my words have circulated around school and news story after news story. I love writing news, and sometimes I even liked writing papers for school. All my personal thoughts and otherwise have just sat suppressed inside me without much of a place to go.

Now sitting before me, I have three months of summer and a day job that I started today. I will work with kids all summer being an ESP worker at my former elementary school. I opened the glass doors this morning to what looked like a new school but still the same. The smell of those places never leave no matter how many times they change the carpet or the ceiling tiles.

I look forward to my summer. I want to get back to being healthy or at least running . I want to lay in the sun and let its rays encompass me. But really, I just want a tan.  I want my callouses to come back on my fingers, and get back to playing the guitar. More than anything, I want to write for me. Yeah, I will have to write for my newspaper occasionally, and I will have to work on my college ministry’s blog.

The selfish part of me wants my writing to be more for me. I’m sure I’ll collect a summer’s worth of tales to blog about. I’m not excited about the summer. I am not sad either. Rather, I am content. I am fairly flexible with what happens, and I have set few goals.

Perhaps, it is okay every once in a while to go lax with goals and visions. I think I want to let my mind wander and go where it may.

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Reflections and ramblings

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In attempt to just relax for a while after a five class day, I started looking through all my old blog entries. I was just curious. What was I thinking a year ago today? Did anything I imagine to happen actually happen? No, not really. We all have ideas, plans, and dreams. God changes can transform those plans, though. He does it everyday. Sometimes, it might not be what we consider for the better, but God’s way is always the right way.

Before Facebook decided to blow up and change today, I was enjoying the fact I could see what I posted a year ago today. Heck, I could see what I posted two or three years ago. I find it interesting, and I am generally amused by it more than anything. The statuses I posted seemed silly, or they do to me now. I find it odd that I worried about such little things. They were big things two years ago I suppose.

This big stuff in my life I posted about last year revolved around soccer and the Edge. I know I was working on my second issue for the newspaper, and I was probably freaking out over something that didn’t really matter in the long run.

According to Facebook I sounded like Jimmy Hoffa, and I remember that I got a signed copy of Ellen Hopkins book, Fallout. I was loving the fact that pumpkin spice lattes were here, which I am still obsessed with.

More importantly though according to my blog, I still loathed the thought of coming to MTSU. I hated it with every fiber of my being. I could never tell anyone why I never wanted to come here because I didn’t really have legitimate reason. I was like a fussy three year old throwing a tantrum about not getting my way. That’s how I was with the thought of going to MTSU. I wanted to God to let me go to college anywhere but there. I begged and pleaded, and with all my groveling I got an answer.

It just wasn’t the answer I wanted. Surprise, surprise, God placed me at MTSU, and I am blessed that I am here.

God surprises me all the time. I never thought I’d end up at MTSU and want to be here. I am in the right spot. I know that for certain. God wouldn’t be putting all these opportunities in my life if I was in the wrong place.

A lot of stuff in my life and other’s around me have drastically changed a year ago from today. People have come and gone. Some of the voids from the people that left I never think will be filled again. And maybe they won’t. I guess it’s all just an acceptance type deal.

I rarely try to make my blog like a journal. That’s not normally how I roll. Normally, I try to always write my blog with a purpose or some type of positive message. I always want my words to uplift others. I think that’s what God gives me the ability to write.

However, maybe God is trying to make me realize something with this ramble. Most of the time that is where God reveals himself to me. It’s always when I write. God reveals himself to us in numerous ways. But do we take the time to really listen or maybe even to reflect?

God can change the course of our lives in a year. He can basically the change course of our lives within a minute. It’s very humbling though to think about everything God has done for us in a year. But other than the fact that it’s humbling, it’s sometimes reassuring. If God came through once, he’ll always come through again. It might not  be what we want or what we envision our life to look like. It’s God’s way, though. God will always plan it just the right way.