I am starting my fourth week of college this week, and to be quite honest, I am not sure what I think of it. Yes, I do love it, and yes, I love the majority of my classes. I still wonder, though, where I fit in God’s big equation right now.
It’s more along the lines of strange being in a total new world than scary. I am not scared. I just don’t know where I am supposed to fit. I am kinda like a puzzle piece. One of those puzzle pieces that you really can’t tell what the image is, and you have no idea where it needs to be placed to complete the picture.
College feels like a jigsaw puzzle. I am scattered in with about 26,000 other pieces. My path has crossed with several of these so called pieces. I have met a multitude of new people. Some of which I believe are in my life for a reason. It’s a God thing that my life has intersected with some people. I think in the long run I’ll even become good friends with some of them.
Along with discovering new people, I have decided to find a church here in Murfreesboro. That is a potential terrifying though for a girl that has been at the same church her entire life. I will not lie. It is an earth shattering thought. Sorta. It’s just something I feel like God’s leading me to do. I am not sure where to go. God will lead me to the right place, though.
Right now though, all the big changes in my life have taken place. All the corner pieces and the boarder of the puzzle have been put in place. I feel like I am in the “now what” stage. I don’t really know where to go from here. I have no idea what this picture is going to make, nor do I know what is going to have next in my life.
I was listening to the alternative band Jimmy Eat World the today. One of my favorite lyrics by them has to be the line in “Big Casino” where they sing about “playing my little part in something big.”
I relate. I know I am playing my little part in something big. Little or huge I know my part is important; I just don’t know what is exactly. God puts the desires on our hearts for a reason. A friend and I recently discussed that the other day, and I can back up that thought with Psalm 37:4. I just don’t know the purpose of all the desires on my heart.
I am still sifting through millions of puzzle pieces to figure out this big picture. What does my first semester have in store? I have no clue. I can barely plan one day at a time without something out of the blue popping up.
Perhaps though, I shouldn’t be to worried about trying to piece together puzzle. I guess really and truly God is the ultimate puzzle piecer. Sooner or later, everything will fall together. I hope I will see what God has had in mind for me all along.