Walking that fine line

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Yesterday, I walked out of my high school for the final time as a student. I’m not all the things I was in high school anymore. I am not the editor, the president of this or that, a soccer girl,  etc. Stick a fork in me. I’m done.

Let me tell you. It felt weird. Really weird. Before I walked out of the newspaper room, I felt the overwhelming weirdness. And it just wouldn’t go away. I debated on whether to write a blog about this at all. I do not want to sound cliché or anything of that nature. But for me, graduation is just surreal.

I contemplated for a good portion of my afternoon about high school in general. What am I going to miss? What am I going to never forget? And who? On the flip side of that, what I am not going to miss?

Top 5 Things I Will Miss/Won’t Miss

1) I am going to miss the newspaper probably the most of all. It’s my passion and what I love to do. For some people it was sports in high school, and for others it was clubs. I did all those things, but they weren’t my passion. They were just outlets for other things I enjoyed participating in. I’ll miss the people, the writing, and the atmosphere for sure. I hope find something similar to this in college. I’ll need to fulfill my deadline adrenaline rush craving somehow.

2) There have been some people that I have gone to school with all my life. They may not have always been my best friends or we may not have run in the same social circles, but they were always there. There are some of those people who were just kinda fixtures, and they just floated along and endured high school with me. Now, they won’t be there. I am starting over. It’s a scary thought.

3) Simplicity and compassion. How do those two correlate? They kinda sum up high school for me. I have been surrounded by it for the past four years. High school was fairly simple, or at least the dynamic of it was. I know the ins and outs of my high school, and I know what makes it tick. Not to mention, I am more than very well acquainted with those who ran my school whether it be teachers, principals, faculty, etc. I know them all. And for the most part, they were all compassionate towards other people, and they always demonstrated kindness and understanding to me. I wonder if it’s the same in college. I’m told it’s not for the most part. I guess I’ll have to be the judge of that when I get there.

4) There are 1,600 students at my school. So in a crowd that size, there is bound to me some immaturity. I am not going to miss the petty fighting and idiotic girl drama. I will not miss those who think they must cuss in every single sentence because they think it sounds cool.  And I will definitely not miss the PDA that I generally encountered every single day. No, I will simply not miss that.

5) I like to walk fast because I have places to go and people see and things to do. If you have ever been in the hallway before, that is not possible. People walk in clumps or they walk slow so they can show they got “swagga.” I could care less about their swagga.

There are plenty of other things I will not miss such as I can wear whatever I want to now, and if I want to keep a bottle of Tylenol in my purse, then I will. But as for now, the list could on for a while if I tried to name all things I wouldn’t miss.

Graduation is the biggest change I’ve really encountered in my life. I hope that I am wise enough to stick God, and that when I want to freak out about my future, I’ll refrain. God’s in control. I realize and know this. It’s just hard.

Friday night, I’ll walk the line. And after I throw that little black hat in the air with everyone else, I guess I’ll truly be done. I’m not sure how I feel, but that’s alright. It’s time to turn the page and go on with the next chapter. Whether I’m ready or not, here it comes.

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