Monthly Archives: May 2011

48 Hours

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In a matter of two days, so much has happened in my life. I’ve graduated high school, been to project grad, held a kid’s choir party, went to my best friend’s grad party, and had my kitten die all in the matter of 48 hours.

These past two days have been full of so much, in fact it feels quite surreal. It doesn’t feel like I graduated two days

"This is the last time I'll talk to you as a 'high school senior'."

ago. In all reality, it feels more like two years.

As I stood under the bleachers Friday night, a friend and I waited until the clock clicked over to seven o’clock on her

Droid. It felt strange as I heard 376 other students walk out of the tunnel with me with gravel crunching underneath our feet. As  I marched out on the feel, I wished I had had my camera or any camera. It was a picture perfect moment.

I listened intently for all my friends graduation speeches, and eventually I got to receive my diploma. And other than the fact that my hat almost fell off, I received it with perfect grace. No falls, no trips, no grass monsters reached to grab my feet in front of 3,000 people. I definitely thanked God he didn’t let the grass monster get me.

The family & I after the ceremony

Other than the graduation ceremony itself, the rest of these few hours have seemed like a blur. I spent six hours being delirious with some of my closest friends. I’ve slept maybe ten hours in these two days due to such a hectic schedule.

My kid’s choir had their end of the year party with the key element being water. Since the weather finally feels like May, we silly stringed and slip-slided for the entire party. I ended up being a soapy mess with random bits of silly string stuck on me. However, the kids had fun which made it all worth it.

“Try to realize it's all within yourself no one else can make you change, and to see you're only very small and life flows on within you and without you.” ~George Harrison

The rest of Saturday came and went with too much food and all of my friends. When I got

home, I was more than exhausted but I noticed something was missing. What was missing you might ask? Harrison. My friend and I had rescued four kittens not a week earlier, and I kept one.

She was quite adorable, and I named her Harrison after George Harrison from the Beatles. As I arrived home, my

headlights shined on my dog and my other cat, and when I got out I didn’t hear her loud yowl.

I looked for everywhere, and eventually drug myself inside. It turns out today I discovered she met an untimely fate with the back wheel of my dad’s car. He accidentally ran over yesterday.

Despite all these events, my life still feels surreal. I am waiting on it to sink in but none of it has thus far. Perhaps, it will take longer than 48 hours.

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Walking that fine line

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Yesterday, I walked out of my high school for the final time as a student. I’m not all the things I was in high school anymore. I am not the editor, the president of this or that, a soccer girl,  etc. Stick a fork in me. I’m done.

Let me tell you. It felt weird. Really weird. Before I walked out of the newspaper room, I felt the overwhelming weirdness. And it just wouldn’t go away. I debated on whether to write a blog about this at all. I do not want to sound cliché or anything of that nature. But for me, graduation is just surreal.

I contemplated for a good portion of my afternoon about high school in general. What am I going to miss? What am I going to never forget? And who? On the flip side of that, what I am not going to miss?

Top 5 Things I Will Miss/Won’t Miss

1) I am going to miss the newspaper probably the most of all. It’s my passion and what I love to do. For some people it was sports in high school, and for others it was clubs. I did all those things, but they weren’t my passion. They were just outlets for other things I enjoyed participating in. I’ll miss the people, the writing, and the atmosphere for sure. I hope find something similar to this in college. I’ll need to fulfill my deadline adrenaline rush craving somehow.

2) There have been some people that I have gone to school with all my life. They may not have always been my best friends or we may not have run in the same social circles, but they were always there. There are some of those people who were just kinda fixtures, and they just floated along and endured high school with me. Now, they won’t be there. I am starting over. It’s a scary thought.

3) Simplicity and compassion. How do those two correlate? They kinda sum up high school for me. I have been surrounded by it for the past four years. High school was fairly simple, or at least the dynamic of it was. I know the ins and outs of my high school, and I know what makes it tick. Not to mention, I am more than very well acquainted with those who ran my school whether it be teachers, principals, faculty, etc. I know them all. And for the most part, they were all compassionate towards other people, and they always demonstrated kindness and understanding to me. I wonder if it’s the same in college. I’m told it’s not for the most part. I guess I’ll have to be the judge of that when I get there.

4) There are 1,600 students at my school. So in a crowd that size, there is bound to me some immaturity. I am not going to miss the petty fighting and idiotic girl drama. I will not miss those who think they must cuss in every single sentence because they think it sounds cool.  And I will definitely not miss the PDA that I generally encountered every single day. No, I will simply not miss that.

5) I like to walk fast because I have places to go and people see and things to do. If you have ever been in the hallway before, that is not possible. People walk in clumps or they walk slow so they can show they got “swagga.” I could care less about their swagga.

There are plenty of other things I will not miss such as I can wear whatever I want to now, and if I want to keep a bottle of Tylenol in my purse, then I will. But as for now, the list could on for a while if I tried to name all things I wouldn’t miss.

Graduation is the biggest change I’ve really encountered in my life. I hope that I am wise enough to stick God, and that when I want to freak out about my future, I’ll refrain. God’s in control. I realize and know this. It’s just hard.

Friday night, I’ll walk the line. And after I throw that little black hat in the air with everyone else, I guess I’ll truly be done. I’m not sure how I feel, but that’s alright. It’s time to turn the page and go on with the next chapter. Whether I’m ready or not, here it comes.

So, I played dinosaur

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There are a lot of five-year olds in this year world. However, I now refuse to trust them. Well, I cannot say I don’t trust them exactly. I just don’t trust any five-year old who can’t say the letter J.

Tonight I went out with my friends to Dairy Queen and then we ventured on over to the Imagination Station. Yes, I realize I am seventeen and soon to be eighteen. But, that does not mean that I still don’t like to play.

Nonetheless, we moved on over to the playground and began running around. Or rather my  friends started running away from me since I was putting something in my car.

When I pushed the wooden gate open,I took a few steps in trying to find my friends who were running around like chickens with their heads cut off. Before I could run after them, though, a five-year old latched on to me. I tried to be nice. I mean who can be mean to a five-year old?

As I started running, his little legs chased after me screaming, “I am going to eat you!” He ran around with me throughout the whole entire park, and he even grabbed on to my shirt and tried to pull me away. He was under the impression we were playing dinosaur.

I felt the urge to rawr at him, but I did not want to stoop down to his level or give me any ideas. I ran through the maze of towers and bridges and thought I lost him. My friends started swinging, and I thought everything was fine.

Everything was fine until I felt a tiny thud on my arm. I looked up to see this same little kid throwing mulch at me and pointing to the tire swing. I really didn’t want to push him, but I felt bad and let him climb in the swing.

My friends thought he was a brat, but once he started swinging and being pushed around in the swing, he was very sweet. He talked about all sorts of things and told me how old he was. I really couldn’t understand a lot of the words he spoke even if he was five.

He told me he was excited to start kindergarten class next fall. And when I asked what his name was he replied Yacob. The poor thing couldn’t say his Js. Hopefully next year, he will learn.

When I asked him how old he thought I was, he replied eight.  By this time, my friends were doing swinging, and I left Jacob swaying in his little tire swing. I hated to leave him all by himself, but thankfully as I was exiting the gate I heard his mom call for him.

His little legs went into overdrive, and I watched him run to her. Some days, I wish I was a five-year old and enjoying the tire swing and playing dinosaur. In fact, I played a lot of dinosaur back in kindergarten. It feels like the other day I was five. Now, I am almost eighteen.

I felt like a kid tonight running around the playground chasing my friends. Hopefully, I will always be a kid at heart.

Top Ten Senior Year Moments

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At the age of six my heart broke as I graduated. From kindergarten that is. I remember sitting on my teacher’s lap crying out all those little six year old tears. I loved kindergarten and everything about it. I am about to graduate again. This time it’s for real, though, and I won’t be crying on anyone’s lap.

I am, however, very nostalgic. Today, I looked back and tried to remember all the important moments of my senior year. Some are happy, hilarious, tragic, and some have hints of sadness to them. They do not range in any order or importance.

These are the moments that made my senior year what they are.

1) The Great Pumpkin

As an avid fan of Charlie Brown, I understand why Linus desired to find the “Great Pumpkin.” And I found my great pumpkin this year as this was the first time in my life that I ever even carved a pumpkin. My best friend says I am deprived because I don’t like Star Wars, and I had not dyed Easter eggs until my sophomore year of high school. This year though, I carved my first pumpkin, and it sat on my porch until the end of October.

2) Soccer camp

Normally, I do not like anything strenuous, and all the athletic talent I have took lots of hard work to achieve. Soccer camp, though, was one of the best moments of my senior year. I stayed with some of my best friends in the Lee University dorms and played indoor soccer. Sorta.

My roommates also made cheese, chocolate covered smores. I can’t say I was a big fan of those very much. However, I came away from soccer camp with the best cleat marks I had ever gotten, and I got a little bit more confidence in my playing skills.

3) The Warren County Game

During the beginning of our season, the starting goalie got hurt before a game. I was completely freaked out because that meant I had to start plus I was concerned about her as well. Since she was definitely injured for more than one game, I had to start varsity in this tough district game. Despite fears and jitters, it was the best game I played all season and I had 15 saves for the entire game.

4) Senior Night

I will always remember my soccer senior night. Even though I only played soccer for two years, I learned a lot about myself. That night will always be special to me I guess because everyone who has been or still is super important in my life was there for me.

5) And we were number one

As you now know, I am the editor of the high school paper, and I will soon relinquish my title to the two deserving upcoming juniors. However, I had a goal before I started my senior year for the newspaper. That goal was to be number one. After all of The EDGE staff’s hard work and drive, we got that title. Even though it was one of my better moments, I don’t remember it clearly. I was way too excited. However, I always remember jumping and throwing my notebook across two rows of seats and coming back to my seat to share the excitement with my adviser and staff.

6) Wet paint

On the first day of school, I stayed afterward to make club posters for to notify new members  for the upcoming meetings. I was making posters in the library with the huge paint brushes and poster board, and I thought everything was great. I didn’t get on my new clothes or anything.  My luck soon changed. I went out to eat Mexican food with a friend. Once we got out of my car, she told me there was something on my face. It was green paint. Everywhere. I had to go back to school and humbly ask one of my teachers to help me GermX it away.

7) You should putta’ ring on it

My grandmother bought me a class ring this past year, but it is not the traditional kind with the school emblem and such. It is a simple amethyst ring since that is what I wanted instead of  getting a ring I might wear for two years. My grandmother was originally going to wait until graduation, but she gave it to me three weeks before my spring break one night randomly. I am very glad she gave it to me ahead of time. It meant so much more being able to see her be happy because I was happy.

8 ) And only three short weeks later after that ring

The fact that my grandmother passed away is the biggest thing that has happened to me this senior year. It triumphs any scholarship or award. It definitely goes before winning a soccer game or anything else. If I were to put the top 5 people of importance on my hand, she would be one of them. She helped me raise me and shape me into the person I become. She won’t see me graduate. She won’t see me turn 18. She did see me grow up though, and there has never been a time in my life where I have spent more than three weeks without seeing her. She meant and still means the world to me and will always hold a special place in my heart.

9) It was a walk through the park

One day after school within the past month, my friend Katie and I went to the park. You might ask, “What is so special about going to the park?” Well, I will tell you there was nothing super special and that is why it is significant. It was so simple. We just sat in the grass and talked for three hours about everything. It makes me realize that I am going to miss just doing simple things like that and not having a care in the world about anything.

10) Sometimes you just gotta let go

Yesterday, I sent my very last EDGE to the printer. I was sad, but not as sad as I thought it would be. Saying goodbye to that is going to be one of the many things I leave behind. Today, I went to go get them. It was a most interesting drive and quite enjoyable. I can’t define The EDGE into one moment. There are simply too many between all the times I have fallen on my face, been with the most quirky and creative people, or spent time with some of my very best friends and the people I love very much.